Fragile
by TearsOnASword
Summary: Severus Snape hasn't been the luckiest of men. He lost everything he holds dear to his heart. Harry Potter finds himself depressed more often than not. The story revolves around the lives of these two men as they discover love and loss. Pairings : Snarry. Rating : M.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note :  
>I've started the story in the Marauder's period to give a little history to Severus Snape. As the story progresses the Point Of Views will change, as will the writing style. This story will contain Snarry at some point, and it'll be graphic.<br>Enjoy anyway :) Not too many warnings for this chapter. Has some canon elements to it.

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><p>9 January 1960<p>

Eileen Prince closed her eyes as her breath hitched. Her fingers trembled and her body bent over in pain.  
>An old woman who looked quite scared whispered words of comfort to the pain-stricken lady.<br>The weather outside complemented the one inside; It had rained for hours, the sky looked turbulent and black.  
>Eileen let out a loud gasp as the pain spread across her loins. The old woman held Eileen's trembling hands in her own and said, 'Just a little more dear, push.'<br>Eileen's eyes watered as she struggled to stay quiet while in pain.  
>She went white as she heard the sound of horse's hooves.<br>Her husband was back.  
>Eileen's eyes bulged out in fear as she looked at her mother. 'He's here,' she whispered.<br>The old woman stiffened suddenly. Her face became stern and she said in a feverishly determined voice, 'I will make sure he doesn't lay a hand on you or your child.'  
>Eileen gave a ghost of a smile before she let out a piercing scream.<br>A few minutes later, the sound of a baby's wailing could be heard all over the small cottage.  
>Severus Snape was born.<p>

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><p>IN THE YEAR 1975:<br>"I was 7 years old when I first remembered seeing my father hit my mother. He was a man who was feared by most people. The fact that he was merely a muggle didn't stop him from abusing my mother on a daily basis. My mother was far too frail at this point to fight back. She merely accepted her fate and made it a point that I was kept safe from his violent behavior.  
>I remember a day, a crisp autumn like this evening, when I heard her screaming. My mother was being hit again. I could hear the angry snarls escaping my father's mouth as he pounded into her flesh again and again till I heard no more screams; just some sobs and some whimpers. My mother must've been on the verge of fainting when I entered the living-room. I trembled slightly as I clutched the bat in my hand harder. I wanted to kill him.<br>My mother's bloodshot eyes found me and she whispered hoarsely, "Run."  
>The smell of alcohol was emanating from the muggle I call my father.<br>He too noticed my presence. Unlike my mother, he didn't say a word as he approached me. My legs felt like jelly and my palms were sweating so bad that I was afraid that the bat might slip from my hands.  
>I said in a voice much stronger than I felt at the moment, "Let her go."<br>His eyes appeared unfocused as he took a swing at me.  
>I ducked on reflex.<br>He snarled and hissed out, "C'mere you filthy boy. You're even filthier than your whore of a mother."  
>My heart thumped in my chest as I tried to make sense of what he said.<br>It was then or never. I swung my bat at him, but he caught it easily and broke it into two pieces. A high-pitched scream erupted from behind us as my mother ran to hit our tormentor. He was much stronger, much faster. He swung the broken half of the bat into her stomach.  
>Blood. Blood was everywhere.<br>My ears buzzed and my eyes watered.  
>My mother did not make a sound as she breathed her last.<br>Rage filled me. Anger coursed through my veins. The last vestiges of fear left my body as I screamed in pain and anger.  
>For the first time in my life, my father looked scared.<p>

The house trembled. I did not understand what was happening. Before I realized what I had done, my father fell to the floor. His mouth was spouting blood and his eyes rolled back.  
>Tobias Snape died. I killed my father. I killed the filthy muggle who was the reason my mother died.<br>Tears spilled down my eyes as I collapsed onto the floor." Snape stopped writing when he heard a noise behind him.  
>He closed the book hastily and stood up, his Hogwarts robes which were quite short for him flapped against his ankles.<br>Snape sighed as he saw that the creator of the noise was nothing but a squirrel.

"What's wrong Snivellus? Afraid the squirrel might attack you?" He heard an all-familiar voice taunt him from the background.  
>Severus turned around and snarled, "Mind your own business, Potter."<br>"Be careful James, Snivellus might hex you… we all know how _dangerous_ that is," Sirius said with a huge grin.  
>"Shut up!" Severus growled as he extracted his wand from his bag.<br>James glared at Severus and said, "Don't you dare talk to him like that!"  
>Before Severus could mutter a spell, James said, "Levicorpus!"<p>

Snape's stomach lurched as he was hung upside down on his ankles in mid-air.  
>This was met with loud laughter as Sirius patted James on the back, grinning. Even Lupin couldn't suppress a smile as the crowd forming around them giggled.<br>Snape's eyes watered as he tried to free himself from the spell.  
>James laughed harder and bellowed, "This is what you get for not respecting your superiors!"<p>

"Hey! Let him go!" Lily shouted from below him.  
>James rolled his eyes and said, "Why do you always stand up for him?"<br>"It's not right James!" Lily said as she drew out her wand.  
>Sirius sighed and said, "Come on James, we're getting late for class anyway."<br>A few of the students had left the grounds shaking their heads as this was a usual occurrence.  
>James shrugged and muttered, "Liberacorpus."<p>

Severus fell to the ground with a huge thud.  
>Peter Pettigrew guffawed and in an attempt to look cool, stomped on Severus's hand. James snickered and walked past him as if nothing happened.<p>

Lily walked up to him and said, "Sorry I arrived late, Severus." She helped him up.  
>Severus's blood boiled as he said, "I don't need your help, mud-blood!"<br>Lily's expression changed from concerned to angry in an instant.  
>She said, "Fine," and stormed off.<br>With his head pounding and hand aching, Severus made his way back to the Slytherin common room.  
>His heart hammered in his chest as he re-called what happened on the grounds next to the lake. With an angry snarl he threw his diary into the fire.<br>"Filthy Gryffindors," he hissed.

Avery entered the common room to see Severus venting out in frustration.  
>"What did the mud-blood do now?" Avery asked with an air of caution. Although they referred to Lily as a mud-blood, he was one of the few people who knew how much Snape had grown to care about her.<br>"Nothing," Severus snapped.  
>Avery shrugged.<br>"There are a few first year Gryffindors in the corridor. Wanna have some fun?" Avery asked with an evil gleam in his eyes.

Snape's blood rushed to his head as he thought of the house he despised the most. He nodded curtly and gave a smirk.  
>Although Snape was a 5th year, he earned respect among most of the 6th and 7th years because of his knowledge in potions and his keen interest in the dark arts.<br>At the age of 15, Severus knew more curses and hexes than the average 7th year.

Avery and Snape strode around the corridor with their wands in the open.

A first year Gryffindor passed by hurriedly. Snape called after her, "Be careful not to trip, mud-blood."  
>The girl ran harder. Avery and Snape snickered.<p>

Avery hushed Snape and pointed to a boy who was looking quite pale as he sat on a bench.  
>Avery muttered something, and all of a sudden, the pale boy was covered in boils. He screamed as Avery and Severus laughed and ran back to the common room.<br>Suddenly Snape collided into someone and he fell back with a hard thud.

Avery growled and said, "Watch where you're going, blood traitor."  
>James, who was taller than Avery said, "What did you call me?"<br>"Can't hear right can you?" Severus smirked as he stood upright.  
>Before James could reply, Avery pointed his wand at James and said, "Langlock."<br>Both Avery and Snape smirked as James's tongue got stuck to the roof of his mouth.  
>But Severus was not done yet; he punched James in the stomach and left him reeling on the floor.<br>"That's what you get for messing with me, Potter," Severus said with a grin.

Mulciber joined Avery and Severus as they entered the common room.  
>Severus walked off to bed without saying a word.<br>He was already regretting throwing his diary into the fire.

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><p>IN THE YEAR 1976:<p>

"We can't be friends anymore Severus," Lily said with a frown.  
>"Why not?" Snape asked, afraid to know the answer.<br>"I think you know the answer already! Mulciber and Avery, Severus? They don't even mind joining Lord Voldermort after they graduate!"  
>"So?" Snape asked without thinking.<br>Lily looked disgusted.  
>"I-I didn't mean that," Snape stammered.<br>"I'm done talking to you Severus."  
>"Lily! Wait!" Severus exclaimed, panicking as he saw her walking away.<br>She halted for a second.  
>Snape said, "But Potter and his friends…what about them? They're just as bad. You know their friend Lupin? He's a Were-"<br>Lily turned back and said, "Don't you dare talk about them like that. You know nothing about them. Good-bye Severus."  
>She walked away.<br>Severus's knees gave way as he fell to the ground. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. Lily was the one person in the world he always counted on. No matter how many times they fought, they always became friends again. She was the only one who knew of his past…and she was choosing _them_ - Potter and his friends.  
>His hands trembled with anger as he took off running.<br>He didn't know where he wanted to go but he just couldn't stay still anymore.  
>His head throbbing, he opened the door to a broom cupboard to cool his mind.<p>

Severus couldn't believe his eyes. There, in front of him, were James and Sirius in what appeared to be a lover's embrace.  
>They were too into each other to notice Severus standing there.<br>He was too shocked to say anything. He backed away slowly and without his knowledge, his hand brushed against a broom. The broom fell and along with it came down the other brooms.  
>James and Sirius broke apart with a gasp.<p>

Sirius's face flushed as he growled, "What are you doing here?"  
>Severus with a surge of anger said, "I might ask you the same thing!"<br>James swung his hand and punched Severus without a warning.  
>In the mean time, Sirius muttered something about calling a teacher and left the broom cupboard.<p>

Severus jumped up and tried to strangle James. Both boys seemed to forget about the wands in their pockets.  
>James, who was taller than Severus, punched him again.<br>This time, James tripped on a broom handle and fell on Severus who landed on the floor with a groan.  
>James glared at Severus as he punched him once again on his face.<p>

Severus tried to move away from James, but James was almost straddling him between his legs. A rush of blood colored Snape's cheeks even as he was attacked, at the thought of the compromising position he caught himself in. He suddenly realized how much muscular James was as compared to him.  
>James didn't realize anything as he panted from exhaustion.<br>Finally, Severus found the strength to jab James on his face.  
>James fell back and Severus stood against the wall, clutching his bloody mouth.<p>

Panting harder, James stood up too and said in a dangerously low voice, "If you tell anyone what you saw-"  
>But before he could continue, Slughorn appeared at the door looking appalled.<br>"Boys!" he bellowed as he took in the damage. A few broken brooms littered the place and both James and Severus were bleeding.  
>"50 points from both your houses!" Slughorn croaked.<br>Before James could protest he said, "You will both be serving detention for three days a week for the next two weeks. No argument!" He held up his hand as he saw Severus trying to say something.

"You've both been fighting for too long! Some therapy will do you good."

As Slughorn left the broom cupboard, James bellowed, "This is all your fault!"  
>Severus couldn't find it in him to reply as his mind was reeling and his heart thumped painfully in his chest.<br>What the hell had happened when James was on top of him? He had never felt that before.  
>James warned him again, "If you dare breathe a word about this…"<br>Snape merely nodded weakly.  
>James strode away from him, muttering something along the lines of "stupid Slytherins" and "told Sirius" as he closed the broom cupboard with a bang.<p>

Severus fell to the floor weakly as he tried to calm himself. He didn't know what happened to him, all he knew, was that it was bad…and he wanted it to happen again.

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><p>Rate and review :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note : I hope you enjoy. Thanks for the follows and favorites! Please do review. It'll help me continue this story :)

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><p>Severus Snape couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned on his bed the entire night.<br>What he couldn't understand was why his heart was still aflutter and it was all because of the insufferable twit, Potter!  
>Snape tried to convince himself that the weird reaction was because he wasn't used to being physically in contact with anyone-except when he was being bullied. This brought to the fore of his mind the reason for all this: Lily was no longer his friend. Snape felt a tear slide down his face as he groaned softly. Everything was a mess and he couldn't help but blame it on a certain tall, pale and dark-haired asshole.<br>But James was dating Sirius wasn't he? Snape sighed softly as he remembered the not so subtle way James and Sirius were sucking on each other's face.  
>Severus had heard of people falling in love now and then, but he'd always regarded love with an air of indifference. He believed that only the foolish and weak believed in love. There was no such thing, was there? No, if there was, his parents would've been alive; his father wouldn't have murdered his mother.<br>It was because of this indifference that it made no difference to Snape that James might be in love with another man and not a woman.  
>What difference did it make when the emotion itself was an illusion?<p>

Severus cussed under his breath and willed himself to sleep.

The next day wasn't any better. It appeared as if James materialized everywhere he went. Years of experience taught him that it would be better to stay in the shadows when James and his cronies were in the mood for mischief.

What was different was that this time, Snape observed Potter. He couldn't help it. James was definitely taller than him. His body was more built than the average 16-year-old because of years of quidditch training, but he was still lean.  
>His bespectacled face danced with mirth as he spoke to his friends and Snape sucked in a breath as he caught a glimpse of Potter's lips.<br>Before Potter could spot him, Snape hurried along the corridor to his class, willing for the day to end quickly.

Potions class was his second favorite subject. Making weird concoctions came naturally to him and he found himself in his element in the dark and cold dungeon. The only thing that annoyed him was that he shared this class with the Gryffindors.  
>Slughorn cleared his throat loudly to shut the class up.<br>Avery nudged Snape.  
>Snape looked at Avery who indicated to his right.<br>It was very clear that Potter was dozing off while Sirius was busy doodling. Avery smirked as he muttered something under his breath.  
>Suddenly, Sirius's book caught on fire and the fire extinguished as fast as it appeared.<br>Snape tried very hard not to laugh as James jumped up with a start. Sirius let out a small scream as his finger appeared slightly burnt. With the class now looking in that direction, Slughorn said, "Who did that?"  
>Obviously no one raised their hand. Slughorn said menacingly, "Very well then. If no one is going to take responsibility, a foot long essay on the uses of Asphodel."<br>The entire class groaned as James glared at Snape.  
>He stood up abruptly and bellowed, "SNAPE! BE A MAN AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY."<br>Severus felt hot-headed as he too stood up, "It wasn't me _Potter_."  
>James was quite ready to pounce on him when Slughorn pulled him back and shouted, "ENOUGH!"<br>"Mr. Potter, if you could please take Mr. Black to Madam Pomfrey…" Slughorn said with an air of urgency and annoyance.  
>Sirius, who was also readying himself for a fight, looked at James. For an instant their eyes met and for some reason Snape felt his neck grow warm.<br>James's eyes softened and he said, "Yes professor."  
>Both of them left the room, but not before James punched Severus in his stomach when Slughorn wasn't looking.<br>"I know you did it _Snivellus_," he hissed.

The rest of the class continued without any interruption.  
>Snape's mood went from bad to worse as he caught Sirius and James snogging in a secluded corner as he went to the bathroom.<br>He couldn't bear it anymore. He punched the wall of the bathroom in annoyance.  
>When he went out again, a small 1st year girl came to him with a note.<br>Snape snatched the note from the girl's hand and went through it quickly,  
><em><br>Mr. Snape,  
>I hope you remember that your therapy session with Mr. Potter commences at 7 this evening. The sessions will be conducted in my office. Do make it on time.<br>Signed,  
>Slughorn.<em>

Snape groaned and crushed the note.

Just as he was about to throw it, a beautiful girl passed by him. Lily Evans paid no attention to the lean and dark-haired boy who looked like he might kill himself any second.  
>Severus didn't know how much more of this he could take before he fell down in exhaustion.<br>The endless bullying, his confusion towards James, his frustration at the loss of his best friend, his own pull towards dark magic while his conscience kept telling him that it wouldn't do him good… Severus decided that maybe death would be an easier option after all.

At 7 that evening, Severus was nervously pulling on his robes. The robes were a year old and it didn't help that he had a sudden growth spurt. His hair, smooth and silky as usual, curtained his face to his liking. His long pale fingers circled and un-circled his wand- a nervous habit. He was in front of the Potion master's office. James was late… not that Severus expected anything else from the man.  
>Taking a deep breath, he entered the room.<p>

It was as extravagant as it could get. Slughorn probably used a charm to make the room appear bigger on the inside. Huge cushioned couches dotted the room. Green and silver tapestries hung from the walls. The chandeliers were made of glass and a pleasant aroma tickled his senses.  
>Severus snape was impressed. The room itself wasn't the most interesting thing. Dozens of photo frames that lined the walls caught the young wizard's attention. Every photo seemed to contain a famous witch or wizard. Slughorn, it appeared, was invited to every big party that took place.<p>

Severus sighed as he wondered what life had in store for him. Would he ever be in one of these pictures? Would he even make it out of school alive?

Someone gently cleared their throat behind him and Severus turned sharply at the sound. Slughorn was wearing fine red robes and his eyes twinkled. He said, "I'm glad that at least one of you made it on time."  
>Severus nodded silently as greeted the professor.<br>"Do sit down."  
>Snape sat on one of the couches with his hands on his lap. He wanted to leave this place as fast as possible.<p>

Taking a seat opposite to Severus, Slughorn said, "Are you okay Mr. Snape? Would you like some tea?"  
>Severus shook his head jerkily.<br>Slughorn sighed and said in a soft voice, "You remind me of your mother sometimes."  
>That piqued Severus's attention as he asked quickly, "You knew my mother?"<br>Slughorn gave a sad smile and said, "She wasn't the brightest of the lot, and she was quite timid, but if there was one thing she always did, it was stand up for her friends."  
>Snape swallowed thickly and said, "I-I didn't know my mother…"<br>Slughorn smiled again and said, "Yes Mr. Snape, your mother studied in Hogwarts and she was a good witch; a very kind one. I remember once-"  
>Suddenly the door burst open and a panting Potter started, "I'm so sorry sir. I was helping a 1st year find her class and-"<br>"It's quite alright. Do take a seat," Slughorn said quickly.  
>Snape quickly dabbed at his eyes and couldn't help the warmth that pooled at the base of his stomach upon laying his eyes on the disheveled boy.<br>Potter's face was flushed from running and he let out soft puffs of air as he took his seat next to Severus.  
>Severus's eyes showed nothing but hate for the boy next to him, but he knew in his heart that he didn't care that Potter interrupted Slughorn.<p>

Potter pointedly ignored Severus and the only time he caught Snape's eye, he glared.  
>Slughorn didn't miss the exchange and he sighed.<br>"I don't get why you're both so hostile with each other. But never mind, at the end of these two weeks, I will make sure that you'll both be on the best of terms with each other," Slughorn said with a gleam in his eye.  
>"With Potter? Fat chance," Severus muttered just as James said, "Best of terms with Snivellus? You've got to be joking."<br>Ignoring their remarks, Slughorn said, "We'll be doing a couple of trust-building exercises. Now I know that the houses of Slytherin and Gryffindor have long since been enemies and it is just that much harder for you two to be friends."  
>James snorted at the term "Friends," while Severus just looked down at the floor in annoyance.<br>"The first exercise for this evening will be to say ONE nice thing about each other's houses," Slughorn said ignoring their whines of protest.

"You will do as I say or I will reduce your house points!" Slughorn bellowed.  
>James looked absolutely revolted by the idea while Severus's nostrils flared.<br>"Mr. Potter, why don't you start by saying something nice about Mr. Snape's house?" Slughorn asked looking at the be-spectacled boy.  
>James looked away from Severus as his hands were fisted on his lap.<br>"Anytime now Mr. Potter," Slughorn said, pouring himself a cup of tea.  
>James finally sighed and said quickly, "I guess their determination to do whatever they want is appreciable."<br>Slughorn beamed and said, "Well said! 10 points to Gryffindor."  
>James looked quite happy with the prospect of having earned his house some points.<p>

"Now you, Mr. Snape," Slughorn said with a small smile.  
>Severus didn't want to speak; especially in front of Potter.<br>He could feel James's eyes boring into him and he fought off the urge to run away from the room, from the scrutiny.  
>Slughorn cleared his throat and looked at him meaningfully.<br>"They are quite brave," he said in a small voice, looking anywhere but at James.  
>"<em>Quite?<em> We are VERY brave Snivellus!" James said with an air of superiority.  
>"10 points to Slytherin. Well done Mr. Snape," Slughorn smiled warmly.<br>Severus ignored James.  
>Slughorn then stood up and started pacing around the room.<p>

Slughorn finally said, "I have been given an assignment to complete and I'm afraid it will take up my time for the rest of the week. Now, I don't want you to think that you've been let off the hook"-He said looking at the two hopeful faces-"I will be sending the both of you enchanted notes that you will receive once every two days at 7 PM. It will contain the details of your next exercise. If you fail to complete the exercise, there will be disastrous consequences," he finished with a serious glare.

When both Severus and James didn't reply, he said, "As of today, I have another exercise for you."  
>Both of them groaned, looking away from each other.<br>"Face each other," Slughorn said sternly.  
>Both the boys looked at him their showing mutiny. He glared at each of them in turn.<br>"Do it or you'll be losing points for your house."

Severus couldn't do it. He simply couldn't. Just the thought of looking into James's eyes made his heart beat a hundred times faster.  
>"Mr. Snape, it won't help if James is the only one looking," came the warning from Slughorn.<br>Severus's heart beat faster. Potter was already looking at him? With great difficulty, he managed to turn his head to face the other. His eyes were shut and he could hear James snort, "I'm not a basilisk, Snivellus."  
>In rage, he opened his eyes to look in the dark brown ones of his bully.<br>To his surprise, he saw no hostility there. They were warm…and kind…and everything that made him forget who he was.  
>"Now, I want you both to call other with your given names," Slughorn ordered.<br>"James," rolled off Severus's tongue without any hesitation. Severus quite liked the way it sounded.  
>James's eyes bulged as though he forgot that Snape's actual name wasn't 'Snivellus.'<br>Looking away from him jerkily, James muttered, "Severus."

Severus couldn't put his finger on what he felt when the boy who tormented him so often actually called him by his given name. His palms got sweaty and he too looked away.  
>The 16-year-old never felt this way in his life and he didn't want it to stop.<br>Slughorn beamed and said, "You may leave."

James stood up and left the room in a flash, shaking his head as he did so.  
>Severus got up slower, not trusting his own legs to stand still.<br>With a fleeting look at the potion's master, he too left the room.

Severus walked along the corridor to hear James's voice coming from an empty class-room, "And professor Slughorn actually made me say the vermin's voice out loud!"  
>What appeared to be Sirius's voice said, "Oh come off it James, we are not going to talk about <em>him <em>now. I have better things I'd like you to say to me."  
>"And what may they be?" James purred.<p>

Severus ran as fast his feet could carry him. Once inside the dorm room, he fell on his bed, not trying to conceal his pain this time. He buried his face in his pillow and made a vow to forget this _infatuation _he felt for James once and for all. Dark-haired bespectacled bastards, he realized, were only alive to torment him.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note : Hey guys, another chapter up. Please be patient. I will get to the Harry-Snape arc. I hope you do enjoy this in the meantime. This is a shorter chapter. Please please review guys! Also, a little boy-boy action in this chapter ;)

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><p>It was hotter than usual that morning. Severus felt like he was covered in a thousand blankets.<br>Groaning, he turned to his left only to see that a handsome dark haired boy was fast asleep… next to him.  
>With a jerk Snape jumped off his bed as he just remembered what happened.<br>He checked his watch to see that it was still 2 in the morning. With a still trembling hand, he brushed his hair from his face and tried to calm his erratic heart.

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><p>14 hours ago:<p>

James and his friends were making fools of themselves at the Gryffindor table as usual. Severus tried to ignore them as he bit into a bruised apple. He wasn't hungry enough for lunch but he thought he might faint from exhaustion if he didn't eat anything.  
>There was a quidditch match later that evening and he decided to watch it to distract himself. The match was between Gryffindor and Slytherin. It was bound to be exciting.<p>

Avery and Mulciber joined him as he walked across the dining hall. Snape's morning was the usual monotony that he was used to. The only difference was that every time he looked at James and Sirius, his heart hurt and he knew he couldn't do anything about it. Even Avery pointed out that Snape was only half-heartedly participating in their plans to bully the Gryffindors.  
>Snape decided that the only way he could remain sane about the whole situation was to ignore James and Sirius. He tried to melt away into the background whenever they were around and he cursed his heart for beating faster as he caught a glimpse of James.<br>Severus knew that when it came to love, he was always going to lose.

Mulciber snorted, brining Severus back to the present. They were sitting on the grass next to the lake. The quidditch match would start in another hour. Severus knew that he was safe as James played seeker and he wouldn't be free enough to bully anyone.  
>Mulciber and Avery looked at Severus with concern.<br>"Are you alright?" Mulciber asked.  
>"I'm fine."<br>"You don't seem to be in the mood to bully others today. What's wrong? Decided to go over to the light side?" Avery mocked.  
>Severus sneered and said, "Not a chance. I just had a rough night."<br>Avery contemplated this and said, "Do you think The Dark Lord will accept us once we're 17?"  
>Severus shrugged and said, "He might…if we're good enough."<br>Mulciber sighed and said, "I wish I could leave Hogwarts. This shit hole isn't teaching us anything we can use."  
>Severus nodded absently.<br>Avery said, "We're gonna go bully someone now. Wanna come?"

Severus shook his head: No.

Mulciber and Avery left the grounds. Severus sighed as he leaned against a tree and closed his eyes.

"You do realize that the quidditch match is over?" asked a boyish voice.  
>Severus opened his eyes with a start. He looked up to see a fair and dark haired boy grinning at him.<br>Severus squinted at him. He knew this boy from somewhere.  
>"I think you should congratulate me. We won the match because I caught the snitch."<br>Severus's eyes bulged as he recognized this boy. The handsome player was a year younger than him and he resembled Potter's friend.  
>Severus said more to himself than the boy, "Regulus Black."<br>"Pleased to make your acquaintance," said Regulus as he sat next to Snape with a playful smile.  
>Severus backed away from him saying, "What do you want?"<br>The boy looked quite like his brother. Both had the same wavy hair and brown eyes. The only difference was that while Sirius had an air of mischief and disregard to him, Regulus looked more focused and passionate.  
>Regulus also looked much more muscular than Sirius. Quidditch did have its advantages.<p>

"I thought you looked quite lonely here, all by yourself."  
>"I was sleeping," Severus snapped.<br>Regulus shrugged and said, "It's too beautiful a day to be sleeping. Didn't I tell you that we beat Gryffindor? I thought that'd make you happy."  
>"And why is that?" Snape asked without missing a beat.<br>"I see how you look at them… Potter and my brother," Regulus said, looking at the sky with his hands propped behind him. He looked very comfortable next to Severus who appeared to be on his guard.  
>"I don't know what you're talking about," Snape said, getting off the grass.<br>Before he could take another step, Regulus clutched his hand and pulled him down.

Snape hadn't anticipated that, and he lost his balance.  
>The muscular boy caught Snape on his lap and pulled him to his chest.<br>"You know _exactly _what I'm talking about," said Regulus softly.  
>Snape let out a shout and said, "What is wrong with you? Leave me alone."<br>But Regulus had encircled his arms around the thin boy's body, effectively trapping him against his chest.  
>Softly he whispered into Snape's ear, "I know what you want."<br>Snape tried to get away from Regulus by pulling his face away from the taller boy's lips.  
>"<em>Severus<em>… don't try to deny it. I know how much it hurts. I know how it _feels_," Regulus said, tracing his finger on Snape's jaw.

Severus stilled for a moment, not knowing what to do. A rush of heat pooled in his stomach as Regulus's finger traced his lips.  
>"I know how much you want <em>him<em>." Regulus said as he brought his lips closer to Severus's.  
>Severus trembled under the close proximity.<br>"Think of me as James…Come on… picture James holding you like this…No one can see us…"  
>Severus couldn't take it anymore. He closed the distance between their lips and crushed his against the younger boy's.<br>It was his first kiss and damn the world if it wasn't hot.  
>Regulus replied eagerly and bit softly on Severus's lower lip.<br>The thin boy groaned and gave Regulus the chance to thrust his tongue into his mouth. The kiss didn't disgust Severus. The tongue was like a caress… and suddenly it was no longer Regulus, but James who was holding him, James whose fingers were tracing his back and James who moaned softly.  
>It appeared as if all the blood in his body focused into his lower member. It throbbed once and Severus gasped.<p>

Regulus broke the kiss, in desperate need for air.  
>"Whoa," Regulus breathed.<br>Severus's face was flushed and he opened his eyes to see that it was Regulus and not James.

Abruptly, he got off the younger boy's lap.  
>He looked at Regulus without a word.<br>Regulus grinned easily under the scrutiny and said, "That was awesome."  
>Severus couldn't help but break into a small smile at the honest comment.<br>Just as Severus was about to leave for class, Regulus said softly, "For you, I'd catch a snitch any day."

First, Severus made his way into the bathroom. He had to take care of his _problem_.  
>Moaning softly as he climaxed, Severus used the cleaning potion to get rid of the stains.<br>Then it hit him – he just kissed a boy.  
>Snape leaned against the wall weakly. He was gay wasn't he?<br>Why did Regulus do that anyway? Wasn't he supposed to be really popular in Slytherin? He could have anyone he ever wanted.  
>Severus fisted his palms and cussed. Was he playing games with him? And why did Severus not do anything about it? Was he really so desperate for a release that he would kiss anyone?<br>No… No he wouldn't.  
>Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his mind, Severus walked to his class.<p>

An hour later, Severus made his way for dinner. Mulciber and Avery apologized for not waking him up earlier. Severus shrugged it off, fighting the blush that threatened to light his pale face.  
>At the table he grabbed a piece of chicken and he took a bite when suddenly he caught Regulus's eye. The younger boy winked at him and Severus choked on the chicken. Avery hurriedly rubbed his back while Mulciber thumped on him hard enough that he spit the chicken out.<br>Panting and blushing at the same time, Snape buried his face in his food for the next 10 minutes.  
>Avery said, "I think he's trying to tell you something."<br>Severus looked up with a start.  
>"Who?"<br>"Isn't he the guy who plays seeker for our team?" Avery asked pointing to Regulus.  
>Snape looked at Regulus warily.<br>Regulus pointed at the paper rocket that was now flying towards him.  
>Severus caught it hastily and pocketed it.<br>"What was that?" Mulciber asked.  
>"Probably needs help with his homework," Snape said as he rushed to get off the table. Avery shrugged and Mulciber was busy munching on his food to care.<p>

Once he reached the common room, Severus opened the note with a racing heart.

'Meet me in the common room at 12 AM.'

Severus threw the note away without paying a second glance. He wasn't going to be swayed by anyone. Well, not someone who wasn't Potter anyway.  
>It was then that he realized that for the first time in weeks, he wasn't drawn to look at the Gryffindor table. He shrugged it away as coincidence and went to bed.<p>

In his dream, Severus was sitting at the library. It was dark except for the light that appeared above his head as he read a book. He was quite happy until suddenly a book walked up to him. The book grew hands and started poking him.  
>Severus said, "Go away, I've already got one."<br>"I'm better," the book squeaked and poked him again.  
>No. No. Stop poking. STOP POKING.<br>"Stop poking!" Severus shouted. A cold hand covered his mouth and in an instant warm lips spoke against his ear, "Shh…you'll wake them up."  
>Severus's eyes bulged as he pulled the hand away.<br>"Regulus?" Severus hissed.  
>In the darkness he couldn't see the boy grin, "The one and only. Why weren't you in the common room?"<br>"Go away," Severus muttered as he closed his eyes.  
>"No. Move," Regulus said as he sat on the edge of his bed.<br>"What have you got against me sleeping?" Severus asked again, warily.  
>"I love you," Regulus blurted out suddenly.<p>

Severus's breath caught in his throat. He opened his mouth, but no sound came.  
>A brief silence ensued. Regulus sighed when he realized that this was the only reaction he was going to get from the older boy.<br>Regulus stroked Severus's cheek and said, "I've loved you for a year now and you've never even noticed my existence."  
>Severus still didn't say a word.<br>Regulus nudged Severus slowly and said, "Can I hold you?"  
>Severus nodded absently, his heart still beating fast at the proposal.<p>

Regulus smiled and pulled Severus onto his lap. Slowly stroking the older boy's hair, he said, "You must be confused."  
>"I am," Severus said finally.<br>"Ah, well… I'll explain tomorrow. Let's just enjoy each other's company for tonight," Regulus said with a smile.  
>He lay back on the bed with Severus's head cradled at the nook of his hand.<br>'I'm weak,' Severus thought to himself. He felt weak. He felt like jumping off his bed and shouting it to the world. He didn't even know Regulus. He didn't know if Regulus was even telling the truth! Severus Snape felt angry with himself; Severus Snape felt annoyed and frustrated and for the first time in his life, he felt…happy; he felt needed; being in Regulus's arms somehow felt right.  
>The younger boy stroked Severus's hair softly and murmured, "Don't think Sev, just sleep. It'll all be okay… I promise."<br>With Regulus muttering warm thoughts into his ear, Snape closed his eyes.  
>He decided that tonight, he wouldn't think… tonight, he would just sleep.<p>

* * *

><p>14 hours later:<br>Severus cussed in annoyance. What the hell was he thinking?

* * *

><p>Lol, review for Snape's bad decisions? :P<p> 


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